Gilding the Lily.

I rented The Exorcist the other night. I had only seen the movie on network TV, and it was of course edited to the point of…disappointing. I had never seen it in its entirety until I moved out on my own, and some channel was running it at midnight on Halloween. I had the bright idea of watching it with headphones on. I slept like a baby after that, of course. When it was over and I turned the lights on so nothing could suddenly possess me, I wondered what the unedited version was like. Mostly I was just interested in watching it without commercial interruptions. Well, that was about 15 years ago, so I figured it was time to finally rent it.

Even edited and with commercials, it was a scary movie. I had built it up in my mind over the years and was pretty sure that the unedited version was going to freak me out for a good couple days. I needn’t have worried. It came out in 1973, and there was some special edition version that I rented with the hopes of maybe getting to see some behind-the-scenes stuff. What I didn’t realize was that this special edition had been, well, queered up.

Now stay with me here as I veer off course a bit. I saw Star Wars in the theater when it first came out. Even though I was six, I could see that the special effects were done by animation and puppetry. That was okay for me then, and it’s okay for me now. A couple years ago I saw the (once again) “special edition” version, and I was appalled. George Lucas thought he could improve it with gratuitious CGI throughout the movie that just flat-out didn’t belong. As a matter of fact, it became so distracting, I just shut it off. What was wrong with the original version? What was it lacking that it required even more stuff thrown in? The answer? Nothing. I’m not a superfan of Star Wars and all its prequels and sequels. I don’t go to the extent of lamenting the fact that caliber of Greedo’s gun wasn’t consistent with what criminals of the era would really use (isn’t it obvious?). Nope, I enjoyed the movie for what it was: a fun action flick with fight sequences. But as a casual observer, I noticed the egregious CGI additions and balked. I can only imagine what the purists thought. I have visions of slackened jaws, fumbled Magic cards and near-asphyxiation from aspirated Coke and Doritos.

Back to The Exorcist. Because it’s a special edition, naturally someone thought they too could improve it with CGI. It had been Lucas’d, therefore it had been ruined. One of the more ridiculous additions was a devil face that was suddenly flashed on the screen, a little more than subliminally. The beauty of the movie is that other than the obvious elements meant to startle the viewer, there was still a lot left to the imagination; whether in the form of absolute silence for dramatic effect, eerie lighting, or backwards voices. Now, everybody knows that it’s just human voice lowered in pitch and played backwards. It’s still creepy as all get-out, though. But giving the devil an actual face, as LF pointed out, totally cheapened the movie. It’s like JAWS; one of the best things about the movie is you don’t even see the shark until a third of the way into it. But, such is The Society of Too Much Too Soon.

No Hollywood Ending

Lady Fair and I watched The Bicycle Thief last night. To quickly summarize: Poverty has a stranglehold on a small town in Italy in 1948. The unemployment rate is incredibly high, and jobless man, Antonio, has been given a much-needed break with a job as a sign hanger. Problem is, the job requires a bicycle. He man has a bike, but it’s in hock; he had to sell it in order to feed his wife and kids. Through the sale of the family’s bed linens, the wife produces the money to get the bike out of hock. All looks great until the first day of the job when Antonio’s bike gets stolen pretty much right out from under him. The rest of the movie is about the pursuit of finding the stolen bike; a bittersweet adventure of father and son on a futile quest. They come close to getting it back, but a series of insurmountable obstacles prevents fruition. The movie is a heartbreaking account of desperation and disappointment. They never get the bike back and it’s back to Square One: bread and unemployment lines.

If this movie were made in the U.S., they’d get the bike back--father and son absolutely beaming-- and ride off down a congested city street with the young boy on the handlebars. Of course, the boy would be cradling a huge loaf of bread, and the father’s cap would fly off as the sound of a ringing bike bell trails off. The trailer would inevitably contain the words “adventure of a lifetime” or “epic journey”, and would undoubtedly be doused in über-smarmy orchestral music. Ah hell, throw in a small dog chasing them, too.

You too, Thridi.

I went to see U23D at the New England Aquarium IMAX Theater on Saturday. I’ve always wanted to see U2 in concert, but by the time I was old enough to go see them under my own power, the tickets were exorbitantly priced and the venues they were playing were just too damned big.

For a guy who digs live music as much as I do, one would think that I’d go see shows more often than I do. Well, I don’t. Part of the experience for me is taking it all in via all the senses. I’m the guy standing next to you who’s really watching each member of the band individually, more interested in the parts than the sum; maybe bouncing on my heels a bit. When the venues get too big, that connection is lost. But this movie brought the connection.

For $14, I essentially got to see U2 live and closer than any audience member could possibly get. The sound, the camera angles, everything, were just stellar. Plus, U2 is just an incredible live band anyway. Their use of dynamics never ceases to amaze. Also, one thing I didn’t expect was that Bono has still got it. MAN, that guy can belt.

Music, Movies, and a Chevy.

My Lady Fair and I and I caught Flight Plan starring Jodie Foster on DVD. I had seen the trailer for it on other DVDs, but I thought the trailers were for the theatrical release, not the DVD. I now see why it was out of theaters so quickly. Good grief, what a noisome, steaming pile that movie was. I have a lot of respect for Jodie Foster, and she has put out some fine, fine movies. And great googily moogily is that woman intense. However, this particular movie could not be saved even by Jodie Foster. Or even Peter Sarsgaard for that matter. He’s a stunning dramatic actor, but evidently not in the action flick sense.

Of course, am I really qualified to gauge what’s good or bad? I also quite deliberately rented Modern Problems, and I had even seen it before. Why? Because I-hi-hi-hi-hiiiiiiiiiiii like it.